Why Being Real Matters Online & In Real Life

Everyone tries hard to conceal their negative feelings toward something they don’t believe in. And when it comes to the Internet, we can lie to people without being confronted, convenient, isn’t it?

When you see your friend is marrying some douchebag and think their marriage would never survive the first year but still posting the ‘congratulations’ note or give one of those ‘beautiful’ comments to your friends who had a new haircut which you think it’s weird, but running around and give your ‘real’ comments on those things, you are being fake and people will know that you’re lying. In most cases, many people have faked their resume by claiming those skills that they are not qualified for, in order to get the job.

One thing is for sure, lying is never the best solution. To connect with people, establish relationships, the first thing we must do is to be true to ourselves. Many people have mistaken ‘to be real’ is ‘to be rude’ but that’s not the case. We can still express our feelings in a friendly manner. Dislike your friend’s makeup? Try to give constructive criticism instead of a fake compliment. As for work, tell the interviewer what you really think, feel and want. So, you will know what to expect when you accept the offer.

Lies Backfires

Once you have started lying, you will have to create more lies to cover lies. It will be a never-ending story and sooner or later, people will get to know the truth, and it will be one ugly outcome which cost your image, your reputation, and your credibility. For instance, you really want to get a job but you know your qualification is not fulfilling the requirements. So, you put in skills and expertise which you don’t possess. Think further, will you be happy even if you get the job? And when your employer found out you’re lying about your qualification, you have lost your credibility. And if the same thing happens to your personal relationships, you are jeopardizing your friendships.

Credibility and reputations are hard to build but easy to destroy. This is especially true when you put your words online for everyone to see and share. Once the lie is exposed, trust is shattered, relationships are broken and reputation is damaged. The impact is much more serious when it involves the people from your professional life.

Be Real, Be Authentic

We make friends and trust establish friendships. To establish trust and relationships, it involves authenticity. Authenticity often means “have a firm hold on the core beliefs spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and realize it through your actions and behavior.” In short, you are being authentic when you express yourself genuinely and humbly.

And being authentic also means that being consistent. What you say is what you mean, online and offline. Of course, you can always choose to fake it until you make it with well-rehearsed performances, to behave what you think people would like you to. However, this is not a long-term strategy as you are not being yourself. Stay true to yourself, stay genuine to the people, that is the way to make a real connection with them and establish positive relationships in life.

And when you are being the real you, people don’t need to guess if you have any meaning behind the things you have said. And when they interact with you, they will know that they can be genuine as well.

Be Authentic Online

It is amazing that sometimes we can tell if someone is lying. It might be the eye contact, the tone and manner, the body language or even the texts, it is hard to pinpoint it sometimes. But the point is, when you are telling lies, people will know. And when you are presenting yourself according to your script, people won’t buy it. Yes, you get ‘likes’, ‘comments’ and ‘share’ on your posts and photos but in fact, what your friends are looking for is someone authentic with real emotions, happy and sad, anger and fear, someone with dreams, goals and talents, someone with flaws. No one is perfect, right?

Understand what you really want, what you believe in, what you think and know what you should do. When you figure those out and you are ready to reveal yourself genuinely. Let the inner-self come through. Always remember, stay real, stay humble.